the purple heart

OK, this is a bit weird, but I had to write about it, because to me it’s kinda cool, kind of like a Twilight Zone thing…

When I close my eyes, sometimes I see a hazy sort of nothingness, and sometimes I see colors and shapes.  It sort of depends on what I was just looking at.  What do you see?

I even googled it, and I found an article aptly named When our eyes are closed, what do we see?

No need to read the whole article (I didn’t), but here is an excerpt of what people told the author:

“(1) black/grey (possibly shifting or undulating): 4 respondents;
(2) usually nothing, not even blackness: 1 respondent;
(3) colors: 4 or 5 respondents;
(4) afterimages: 1 or 2 respondents;
(5) patterns of color against a black or grey background: 5 respondents;
(6) visual imagery of objects or scenes: 1 respondent, but 3 others mentioned that they sometimes have this experience or they have it after a while.”

I pretty much experience all of those things at one time or another.  Moving on…

As my close acquaintances know, I take yoga classes regularly.  In my Tuesday-Thursday noon class at 24-Hour Fitness, the instructor typically begins and ends the class by having us sit with our eyes closed and chant the sound of “ohm” 3 times.  Yeah, yeah, at first I thought it was strange, but I have become used to it and more or less enjoy how it helps me clear my head.  But that is beside the point…

In another recent post, I wrote about Bud, my first Hospice patient that passed away, may he rest in peace.  During the period when I was visiting him — I don’t remember exactly when; looking back I would say it was a couple of weeks or so before I found out he died  — at some point I distinctly recall closing my eyes during yoga and seeing, amid a background of greyish haze, a purple heart.  It was fuzzy but very definitely there.  It remained even after I opened my eyes and closed them again.  I looked around, and there was nothing purple or heart-shaped in the room, so it was not some sort of lingering, photographic imagery.

I took it as a sign.  I would not say that I usually believe in or watch for omens of any kind, but there you have it.  I immediately thought of Bud, because he served in the Air Force, was wounded, and earned a U.S. military Purple Heart, although he never received it.

I did in fact wonder if it was some kind of prophecy.

I saw the purple heart several times over the course of a few weeks, both before and for awhile after Bud died, and then it went away.  At least a month went by during which time I did not see any purple hearts, and I forgot about it.  Coincidentally, I have not been visiting any particular patient, just due to circumstances.

This past Thursday during my yoga class, I closed my eyes and saw a purple heart, clear as a tree pose.

The next day, a new patient request came up.  I visited “Ed” for the first time that evening; he lives right on the way from work to home.  He served in the Army.

Dee-doo ♪ ♫ dee-doo ♪ ♫ dee-doo ♪ ♫ dee-doo ♪ ♫…


About goldenbearflyer

Robert Martz is a writer who doesn't make any money writing, so he keeps a day job in finance. He lives and works in Walnut Creek, CA. He began blogging in 2011 as a way of taking responsibility for and finding a place to put his thoughts and feelings. He loves to eat, cook, and travel. He volunteers, practices yoga, runs, bicycles, hikes, and explores nature with passion and a child-like sense of wonder. He is inspired by his amazing friends, doers and other writers. Check out another of his blogs at
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3 Responses to the purple heart

  1. Kathleen Bryson says:

    Extremely interesting …!!

  2. MagicMoon11 says:

    I don’t need any convincing… Bud was saying hello to you. You touched him in this lifetime and he wanted to let you know. I look forward to the day we as a society no longer doubt that this world is more than meets the eye; everything is energy…

    • Thank you, MagicMoon. I’m not surprised that you get this! Reading your comment and re-reading my post nearly brought tears to my eyes today (in a good way). Recently, I had added visited another patient, and the purple shapes came to me again, and then the patient did pass away, so this is actually an ongoing theme that my brain has adopted…

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