superficial attraction

If you’ve ever heard the album “Alison Krauss + Union Station Live”, you know how after the song “Lucky One” they leave the tape rolling, and some guy apparently (barely audible) says “I love you, Alison!” and then some other dude says, “I love you more!” and everyone laughs! I’ll bet anything the guys’ wives were sitting right there and laughed too! That’s what I’m talking about. I’m a bit “out there” and honest to a fault. I can admit I think Krauss is not only a great singer but also attractive, and I can even tell Karen that and she won’t mind and won’t feel threatened (and yes, I asked her, and she confirmed that is true).  Just like if she were to say she finds George Clooney attractive, that is natural and I’m OK with that. It means nothing. see what I mean?

Today on Facebook, I think I freaked a lady out a bit by starting a chat about that very subject.  Most days she posts a lot of music videos, and she has thousands of FB friends, many of whom like me appreciate great music and “Like” her videos and make comments.  She posted and Alison Krauss video, and I quipped, “I totally have a crush on Alison!”  Just for fun, I asked her in chat, “What musical artists do you have a crush on?”  She didn’t really get that I meant who does she find attractive, but when I explained it, she wouldn’t really say, and she thought it was weird.  Maybe it was, but it was just intended as a harmless conversation.  She made it clear she is not attracted to ANYONE but her one special guy.  Which is cool.

But I wonder, don’t most people, if 100% honest with themselves, find some members — of whatever gender(s) they go for — attractive, even if only in a completely harmless, superficial way?  I can only speak for myself, of course:  I most certainly do.  Doesn’t mean I ACT on it.  It’s like they say, you can look but you better not touch!

The point is, this type of honesty, I believe, is a sign of self-security, especially if one can truly accept it in return from loved ones.  We don’t have to feel threatened by our sexuality or that of others.

I’m not saying this lady on Facebook is dishonest with herself or insecure; I don’t know her well enough to say that, and I don’t intend to be judgmental.  But that’s neither here nor there.  What’s interesting to me is that I took a chance at a real conversation, and I was sort of shot down, and I realized I may have over-stepped one of her boundaries.  I apologized to her, and it won’t happen again.  It’s really no big deal.  However, like I said, I find this kind of topic interesting.  Social networks like Facebook can lead to situations like this and will continue to do so, because so many people are interacting — superficially, virtually, or otherwise — in ways they never did before the internet came along.


About goldenbearflyer

Robert Martz is a writer who doesn't make any money writing, so he keeps a day job in finance. He lives and works in Walnut Creek, CA. He began blogging in 2011 as a way of taking responsibility for and finding a place to put his thoughts and feelings. He loves to eat, cook, and travel. He volunteers, practices yoga, runs, bicycles, hikes, and explores nature with passion and a child-like sense of wonder. He is inspired by his amazing friends, doers and other writers. Check out another of his blogs at
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